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© 1997-1999 Brian F. Schreurs
Even we have a disclaimer.

What's wrong with comparing apples to oranges?
On Neptune, we feel that the 1970 Dodge Charger was the pinnacle of automotive design. It's just as well we feel that way on Neptune, since pretty much nobody on Earth seems to think so. Of course, we may be somewhat biased. This particular 1970 Dodge Charger, affectionately if somewhat inaccurately named White Lightning, is trying very hard to become the most thoroughly documented car on the world wide web. You can always catch up on the Charger's state of repair by visiting Paradise Garage.

Think of this as an automotive baby picture. This is how we got the car in May 1990; in fact, this is mere moments before we bought it. Note the dilapidated license plate and chintzy wheel covers. Also note the one-piece windshield and lack of rust.

Here's another shot of the car moments before purchase. The nonmatching wheel covers are in full view here. They kept spinning off the car so we eventually removed them and put 'em in a box.

Fast forward to spring 1994. These photos were taken in black & white to use up a roll of film in our photography class.

This photo was taken off our back deck and really does a good job of illustrating the unique contours of the Charger hood. We don't know why it took four years to snap some extra shots of the car, but at least we got on the ball eventually.

This is one of our favorite angles of the car. It looks like it's about to eat you.

This photograph was taken at Lake Needwood in Rockville, Maryland, in about 1994. Note the pretty mag wheel on the back which, shortly thereafter, tried to kill us by spinning its lug nuts off at 50 mph.

Clearly this photo is at the same location but a different angle. The shadow in both photos is kind of annoying and is a perfect illustration of why it's such a good idea to take pictures at high noon.

Fed up with the huge shadow, we moved the car across the road. Now the shadows came from the trees! You can't win. Just don't take pictures at 5:00 and these things won't happen.

The other problem with the above photo was that with all the extra light, it was all too easy to see the level of rust damage. Thanks to the magic of PhotoShop, the Charger received a virtual rust repair.

By fall 1995 the car had been through several more changes. From this angle, the most prominent change is the return to 15" wagon wheels in the back (after the mag wheel debacle).

From this view it's easy to see the new transmission cooler. We were putting in a bigger radiator to cure a recurring overheating problem and figured, what the heck. Well, it wasn't that hard to install and there was an immediate positive change in transmission behavior. Highly recommended to anyone with an automatic.

A lot of people pooh-pooh black-n-white photography, but in this particular case I think it gives the car a sinister look which is absent in color photos.

The Charger returns in spring of 1997 with a new photo session to show off its new front rims. Pity the day was so dark and rainy that you can't really even see the rims.

You've probably noticed by now that sometimes the headlights are visible and sometimes they're not. Well, the Charger has flaps covering the headlights, but the motor that controls them is long since dead. A replacement is hard to come by, so normally the lights are tied open. Sometimes we remember to drop the covers in place for photos, and sometimes we don't.

This was the Charger's favorite parking space till our crazy former neighbors decided that they wanted their mailbox as far away from their house as they could. Maybe they were hoping it would take the bills longer to arrive that way.

Look! You can almost see the front rims in this shot! Well, to help you out, they're black wagon wheels shod with Goodyear Eagle GT+4 rubber. Much better than the Eagle ST tires they replaced.

A couple years ago, our best friend finally ditched his cheap imported four-doors and bought a Mustang. We went out for a photo shoot, and after discovering the plumes of dust, we had to have a pic of the Charger kicking it up.

In 1997, hoping to stay in Morgantown, we prepared the Charger for a long trip west.

The Charger is getting fueled up for its 200-mile journey. We expected 10 mpg, but saw more like 12. Not bad!

Yep, still fueling up. Takes a while. Occurs frequently. Always involves premium. We don't drive it as much as we used to.

It's the next day and time for the Charger's first serious cleaning after five years of off-again, on-again storage. It literally went up several shades of white. You can almost see the car smiling!

This is the Charger's good side, and I must say it looks much better after a careful washing. Yes, the rear marker light is missing. It's on the project list.

Does it fit? By golly, it does! Take a good look at that license plate. This is the last photograph in which it appears. West Virginia antique tags take over from here.

You've been waiting so patiently for a shot of the engine. Here you go. Notice how it's dirty; this is no trailer-queen. It gets driven regularly.

Just in time to make liars of us, here's a shot of the Charger on a trailer. But we have a good excuse -- we had to move 250 miles and the open exhaust is simply not bearable for that long.

The Charger shows a little attitude now that its headers are fixed and it's ready to roll. That's a light bar behind the car's grille, with a little trick photography thrown in for effect.