Protoblast

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Copyright © 2004 Coltrane Productions.
All rights reserved.


Price: $12.00
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Todd Lane's career in professional cartooning started with Protoblast in the 1990s. It was published in Washington metro area newspapers until being unceremoniously canned by the weenie editors for the strip's brutal honesty and cutting satire. Thus learning why newspapers are printed without a spine, Mr. Lane found a home online. There, thousands of readers tuned in to his humor.

Unfortunately for fans, the website only posted half a dozen strips at a time. Those clamoring for more! more! more! just had to hope unfamiliar strips would make the rotation. It was like eating at a Chinese buffet where the staff kept moving the buckets of food around and you were only allowed to take from the ones closest to your table. Well, maybe not exactly like that, but it left people salivating just the same.

Until now.

Protoblast fans, wipe that drool from your chin and take heart! Creator Todd Lane has personally selected his favorite 100 strips and we have assembled them in the first-ever authorized Protoblast anthology.


ISBN 1-932295-08-9
By Todd Lane
Visit the Protoblast website.
Todd talks about his anthology:

"Protoblast is the culmination of years of experimentation with different comic strip formats. I've developed several types of comic strips in the past, but I have found that the single panel format best represents my sense of humor, and are the most fun to draw and write.

"A lot of people ask where I get my ideas. For me, the ideas come from listening and observing. I try to make mental notes of the people and situations around me. Then I'll pick out an element that's funny, sad, selfish, ironic, or taboo, and look for ways to exploit it. I guess that's my formula for comedy. Whatever the hell that means! I want my cartoons to be funny in a 'hitting too close to home' kind of way.

"I also strive to be an equal opportunity offender. By that, I mean going the extra mile to be politically incorrect. Many artists simply will not draw a black man mugging somebody, for example. Or a Korean family of thirty in a one bedroom apartment, stacked to the ceiling like a cord of wood. To them, or more likely to their editors, that would be 'offensive'. I think that the opposite is true. It is condescending to assume that minorities, or anyone else for that matter, can't handle seeing themselves in a satirical light. And I refuse to pander to a vocal few who look for things to be offended by.

"This book is comprised of 100 of my personal favorites. Even now, many of them still manage to give me belly laughs! I know that you'll get a chuckle out of them too. And as for those people who absolutely hate Protoblast, I shall quote Gary Larson and simply say 'Your mother is a cow.' "

The publisher talks about Todd's anthology:

"Buy lots of copies so we can make another one."

"Readers shouldn't be deceived into thinking the cartoons are kids' stuff... his cartoons push the envelope and are not politically correct."
-Montgomery Gazette

"Protoblast was a little too offensive."
-Montgomery College Bookstore

Table of Contents

The one about the gas station.
The one about the religious stuff.
The one about feeding the homeless.
The one about American diplomacy.
The one about the stepfather.
The one about the greener grass.
The one about reading in school.
The one about self-image.
The one about fixing problems.
The one about the maternal optimist.
The one about doctors' bills.
The one about coroner's humor.
The one about psychic advisors.
The one about the alcoholic gene.
The one about free milk.
The one about celebrating diversity.
The one about retro-'70s.
The one about dog poop.
The one about bedside manners.
The one about prayer in school.
The one about quitting smoking.
The one about the Pope.
The one about Oprah.
The one about racial sensitivity.
The one about personal space.
The one about left-lane slowpokes.
The one about pragmatists.
The one about smoking pot.
The one about the affair.
The one about sexual harassment.
The one about interracial dating.
The one about fathers.
The one about reconciliation.
The one about psychiatrists.
The one about lighters.
The one about redemption.
The one about smokers' logic.
The one about cabbie racism.
The one about the dog watching.
The one about dog relationships.
The one about quality time.
The one about light cigarettes.
The one about the dog chasing a squirrel.
The one about avoiding traffic tickets.
The one about electronic dog collars.
The one about the Bible banger.
The one about the embryo.
The one about born-again Christians.
The one about slave reparations.
The one about tough love.
The one about the sanctity of life.
The one about soap.
The one about pet relationships.
The one about the dog walk.
The one about lady justice.
The one about Monica.
The one about the modern-day racist.
The one about the speeding ticket.
The one about the tomboy.
The one about balding.
The one about the Freudian slip.
The one about law enforcement.
The one about acid reflux.
The one about date rape.
The one about male solidarity.
The one about Little League.
The one about drinking.
The one about clueless men.
The one about tanning salons.
The one about uninvolved parents.
The one about premature ejaculation.
The one about Hollywood smokers.
The one about the kiss-and-ride.
The one about the suburban landmines.
The one about laziness.
The one about poor parenting.
The one about wrestling.
The one about preapproved credit cards.
The one about Valentine's Day.
The one about benign lumps.
The one about traditional dinner.
The one about the literalist.
The one about evangelists.
The one about dog business.
The one about conception.
The one about road rage.
The one about random acts of kindness.
The one about the foodaholic.
The one about giving to others.
The one about Jerry Springer.
The one about higher education.
The one about the ugly divorce.
The one about getting fixed.
The one about step-parent relationships.
The one about anti-smoking sentiment.
The one about the homeless guy.
The one about alternative medicine.
The one about the warm pool.
The one about menopause.
The one about the jealous dad.