From The Daily Athenaeum, Thursday, December 10, 1992, page 3.

Spoof Athenaeum hit [sic] stands

One University student thought The Daily Athenaeum needed to be made fun of, so he created a parody the newspaper [sic] on his MacIntosh [sic] and sold them.

Forestry freshman Brian Schreurs produced the November issue of The Daily Athenenianium because of strong and diverse opinions on the Athenaeum around campus, he said.

"The Daily Athenaeum is so popular, but everyone has an opinion on it," Schreurs said. "They either love or they hate it. It had to be done."

Last month, Schreurs began laying out the Athenenianium writing the stories as he went along. Such stories as "Students sleep through Towers fire alarms," "The Dungeon, Library to stop serving alcohol" and "Rhode Island attempts to secede from Union" fill the pages of the Athenenianium.

Schreurs thought up story ideas from observing everyday University occurences [sic], he said. "PRT killer" [sic] a story about a black bear chasing PRT cars [sic] is what might happen if wildlife could get on the tracks, Schreurs said.

"I always look down on this nice piece of grassy slope on the way down the hill," Schreurs said. "There's always some animals there and I wondered what could happen if deer or even something more ferocious could get through."

The Athenenianium's editorial page is in observance of an annoyance Schreurs has about the Athenaeum's page, he said.

In the Athenaeum's Letter's [sic] to the Editor people constantly bicker over the same issues, Schreurs said. Editorial columnists then get into the argument and bring the subject up again, he said.

"They write on the very same subject over and over," Schreurs said. "I got sick of that."

To make fun of this, Schreurs wrote two Athenenianium Letters to the Editor. The first one is entitled [sic] "Athenianium [sic] really stinks" and the second one reads "Athenenianium best paper."

Schreurs said he tried to make the Athenenianium as similar to the Athenaeum as possible. Such Athenaeum regulars as Campus Crime, Campus Calendar and Dear Miss DA... were put in for this reason, he said.

Schreurs also recreated such Athenaeum comics as Jim's Journal, Calvin and Hobbes and Overboard but it wasn't easy, he said. "The comics were a real pain," Schreurs said.

Schreurs made 1,000 copies of the Athenenianium for a total cost of $270. He began distributing the Athenenianium at a cost of 75 cents last Monday at various locations, Schreurs said. Copies of the Athenenianium can be bought off Schreurs directly at 50 cents, he said.

An edition of the Athenenianium to be put out in January depends on how well sales go, Schreurs said. So far the outlook isn't promising, he said.

"It's probably a lack of publicity," Schreurs said. "The next issue depends on the basis of this one. Hopefully I'll be able to pay my dad back and put out another one sometime in January."

Copies of the Athenenianium can be bought at Abshire's Books at 198 Foundry Street, Back Street Records at 370 High Street, Craig's Comics Etc. at 225 Fayette Street and Stillwell Book Shop at 150 Pleasant Street.