Books & CD-ROMs

Coltrane Productions, Inc. is no longer in business, but we have left the site online as a tribute to the dedication and hard work of its owner and founder, Brian F. Schreurs.

In loving memory of Brian F. Schreurs, proprietor of Coltrane Productions, Inc.


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American Mzungu
Daily Athenenianium
Great Goblin!
Hodge Podge
Hot Rodder Quick Ref
Human Hymenoptera
Insert Catchphrase
Loose Ends
Mona Lisa's 1K
Mopar Tech Special
Morgantown Maps
Nine Lives CD-ROM
Protoblast
S.H.A.L.T.: The Book
SN95 Mustang
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Copyright © 1999-2006 Coltrane Productions.
All rights reserved.

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Mona Lisa's 1,000 Words


An American Mzungu in Kenya

American artist Todd Lane details his adventures in Kenya while getting to know his married family and culture for the first time. Todd vividly and expertly describes the environment he finds himself in and the experiences he has while there -- humorous, marvelous, angering; sometimes flattering, sometimes deprecating, always honest. The volume details his travels, relating both the day-to-day activities of his family from the view of a newcomer, and the wonder of the wildlife preserves and Maasai culture that dominate the minds of foreign travellers thinking of east Africa. Todd brings to life the people he met, the places he saw, and the animals he studied with 49 original drawings and 40 photographs. These impressions of Kenya are given generous space in the volume to create a sensual experience of riveting storytelling and expressive illustration with every turn of the page.

Daily Athenenianium

Take one cocky, award-winning student newspaper. Add one irreverent, gauntlet-throwing journalism student. Mix with access to desktop publishers and printing presses. Result: The Daily Athenenianium, a silly, opinionated parody of The Daily Athenaeum, the student body newspaper at West Virginia University. This is the last of the original 1992 press run. A unique memoir of WVU, particularly as it was in the early 1990s.

Great Goblin!

A group of adventurers vanish without a trace... only to reappear captive in a keep long thought abandoned and cursed! But far from empty, the keep is overrun with goblins! Are the goblins responsible for the abduction, or is the frightened young wizard in the keep somehow connected? And what of this other mysterious humanoid tribe hiding in the depths below? Will the adventurers solve these mysteries, or will they end the day as an entrée? The module includes the all-new magic item, the rod of goblin smiting, and the all-new monsters, the lost tribe goblin and the shark zombie.

Hodge Podge

It's an odd thing indeed to compile all the stuff that doesn't exist in enough quantity to compile on its own. Got a couple dozen poems? Two or three short stories? A couple of hardcore research papers? Miscellaneous essays on life, the universe, and everything? Hey, why not throw them all together into one oddball, unpredictable compendium of stuff that varies in subject matter from the merits of remote controlled cars to a history of the press in the Confederacy. It's cheap, it's fun, have a look at the excerpts then let us ship you a copy to enjoy the rest of it!

The Hot Rodder's Quick Reference

When ya need advice, ya need it now. No time to write to a magazine and hope they reply in, oh, six months or so. And your friend who drives Brand X? What does he know? Fortunately you can turn to The Hot Rodder's Quick Reference. Chock full of carefully organized tech, with references, plus a list of magazine product reviews, a manufacturers' contact list, and a subject index covering the magazines used to compile the Reference. This book is a must-have for the hot rodder's shelf!

Human Hymenoptera

Artist Mike Kulina explores a strange, surreal world and the questions and challenges its inhabitants must face in his first graphic novel. A culmination of two years of creative effort, this volume includes dozens of detailed illustrations painting a stark portrait of a world gone mad, accompanied by a poetic narrative that draws the reader into the madness. One lone creature, awakened from the darkness, is set to work as just one cog in the machine. His cog is to deliver envelopes by sliding them under doors, without asking for whom or why. But even in being told to not ask, his head fills with wonder and curiosity... and the pursuit of the mystery, rising above the machine to become individual, ultimately gives him his humanity but also leads him to his downfall.

Insert Stupid Catchphrase Here

From 1992 to 1997, Mr. Schreurs wrote a collection of newspaper columns, essay, opinions, and commentary ranging from politics to pets, from the benefits of chalk to the benefits of state-run welfare. The results of this effort, compiled into a single volume titled Insert Stupid Catchphrase Here, is sure to leave nearly every reader alternating between chuckling in merriment and chucking the book through a window in anger. Sure, there might be more cohesive collections of commentary out there, but there's nothing out there quite like this one. By the time you get through it, you'll have selected your own catchphrase to insert.

Loose Ends

Mostly we tend to look at our adolescent years through the fog of distant memory. Many people may have, or have had, a journal that they recorded personal thoughts in. Yet memory and journaling are only pieces of who we are. Creative writing exposes more of us, often more than we intend. This collection of essays, research papers, short stories, scripts, and miscellany traces the development of the writer throughout his formative years. Though the writing is often crude and inelegant, reading beyond the page reveals the man trying to escape from the boy.

Mopar Tech Special

Finding a magazine that has been out of print for a decade can be tricky. And once you find it, being able to use its contents without damaging it further is nearly impossible. The Mopar Tech Special series of technical magazines from 1994 to 1997 remain in high demand over the years because of the quality of the technical articles they contain. In a special arrangement with the publishers, we now offer the entire series on searchable CD-ROM!

Morgantown Micro-Maps

Morgantown, W.Va., is a town developed by nutty people. Actually, that's not entirely fair; it's simply a town developed at random, and because of this it can often be difficult to find an address. Though most people may manage to get by with the status quo, delivery drivers are all too aware that getting lost can mean losing money -- tip money that is. Morgantown Micro-Maps is designed to aid the Morgantown delivery driver in locating an obscure address quickly so that the delivery is on time and the tip is generous.

Nine Lives CD-ROM

We loved our Jaguar XJ-S -- grace, space, and pace bundled into a stylish V12 coupe -- but it wasn't without its problems. Most Jaguars, in fact, are often a labor of love. Factory literature is great to have but it's a bit one-sided; on-hand experience often reveals non-factory solutions to common problems. Nine Lives is a CD-ROM that collects over 450 of these solutions into one browsable and searchable reference. It is most useful for owners of XJ-S, XJ6, XJ12, XJC, and E-Type owners, though with Jaguar's penchant for re-using components, many of the items on the CD will apply to other models as well.

Protoblast

"It's only funny until someone gets hurt... then it's friggin' hilarious!" This may be the motto of cartoonist Todd Lane (it may not be, also; we copywriters tend to make stuff up sometimes). His collection of offensive, upsetting, and generally mean-spirited cartoons marks the first time ever that Protoblast fans could see more than six strips at a time. It's a landmark moment in the annals of comic literature. Better buy your copy now before it gets banned by somebody.

S.H.A.L.T.: The Book

A long time ago the role-playing game industry was not controlled by a few giants. Small firms produced innovative, weird, and fun systems which were hard to find and coveted by hardcore gamers. Among the hardest of the hard was S.H.A.L.T. The original edition went out of print nearly 15 years ago. Now, Coltrane Productions has issued a reprint, featuring the complete original text in a new look.


SN95 Mustang Upgrades

If you’re like most gearheads, you look at the basic musclecar as a canvas. A treasure, to be sure, but an incomplete treasure, requiring your enthusiastic attention to finish into the fine piece of art it could become. Well, friend, you are in the right place. This book will set you down the path of Mustang-mod nirvana, a path some of you will not abandon until your car has very few parts left on it actually manufactured by Ford. Its 21 projects run the range from "suitable for beginners" to "gone racing".